My little kitten, Emma, died tragically January 4, 2009. She was a little gift from God and now she is gone. It is my fault. I cleaned the litter box and she climbed inside the litter container (Tidy cat pail with the hinge lid). I didn't know she was in there, by the time I found her, she was gone. I do not know how to cope with this pain. The guilt is overwhelming. She was only 4 months old. Her brother, Max, has neurological problems and needed to have her with him. We just got home from Spokane New Years Eve. Emma and Max both went along- they go everywhere with me. I have not been without either of them for more then a few hours since I got them at 10 days old. I know people survive such loss, but how. How, knowing it is your fault. I always look for any of my cats if I don't see them for a short time. I asked my husband if he knew where Emma was because I didn't see her when we started to watch a movie. He said she was in the cat tree by Gloria ( my tuxedo). A few minutes later, I looked and she was not there. I got up and looked a little for her, but thought I was being paranoid as usual and she was sleeping someplace! When the movie was about over I got a scared feeling and started franically looking for her. I took the clothes out of the dryer- afraid she may have gotten in there without me seeing her, I started to fold clothes when it struck me about the litter. I opened the container, and she was there- it is horrible! We tried to revive her, but it was way too late. She liked to crawl in there and play in the clean litter. I normally would have double checked that- but I neglected to do it this time. I killed my baby by not checking it this time. How could I have let this happen. I can not even tell you how devastated I am. I don't know what to do, I can hardly cope, I want to warn others this can happen.
Thank you,
Kim DeFord
Helena, MT 59602

Kim,
Huggggs.
I know how hard it is to lose a special feline family member and also the particular pain and guilt to be at fault. For me, it was a little kitten born with horribly deformed back legs. My vet took a look at them and we chose, together, to put the kitten to sleep because the deformity looked so severe.
I now know that this form of birth abnormality is actually not uncommon in kittens and that no matter how deformed they may look, when given a towel in the nesting box to push against, they almost always grow out of the problem and the legs straighten out.
But neither my vet nor myself knew about this at the time. I still mourn the loss of that little kitten that wasn't given a chance to live.
So be comforted that you are not alone and that by sharing your experience you can help other kittens avoid the unfortunately accident that your little Emma experienced.